The StoWicks Conversations
by
Seth and Carolyn Wicks
Today's Key Points:
- Silence Isn't Empty
- Growth Lives Beyond Comfort
- Concentrate Your Forces
Carolyn: I would personally like to take a moment to defend a mental state with a bad reputation: Boredom. Be honest with yourself, how often do you get bored? Like no phones, no TV, no books, nothing but you sitting there with only your thoughts to occupy you? I bet you the answer is "rarely". With constant notifications, loud noises, and a million activities to choose from at your fingertips, we have forgotten what it is like to get truly bored. Boredom isn't the enemy, and that's exactly what we are going to talk about today.
Seth: Let me start by saying—I get it. It's hard. You might have kids always asking questions, clients calling during your blocked-off hours, and emails marked “URGENT” that demand a response. There are a thousand things pulling at your attention, and it all compounds what we talked about a few weeks ago with your inner monologue. When was the last time you waited in line at Chipotle and didn’t pull out your phone? Or sat at a red light and just… sat? Even when watching TV—already doing something—we still feel the urge to scroll.
Many of us have lost the ability to simply be alone with our thoughts. That means we’re living with a constant stream of unfiltered, often negative thoughts—and no space for reflection or course correction. If your mind is spiraling and then you turn to social media, how are you ever going to climb out of that mindset? The Stoics talk about stillness and reflection as essentials to a well-lived life. They understood that silence isn’t empty—it’s full of answers.
Carolyn: So what if we stopped avoiding boredom and started using it to our advantage? Neuroscience backs this up: when the brain isn't activity engaged in taking in new information, it defaults to what is called the "default mode network", which is where imagination, introspection and creative problem solving happen. Some of your best ideas, whether for your business, family, or your own personal growth are probably buried under all that distraction and noise that you constantly bombard your brain with. But you'll never be able to access them if you never give your mind space to wander.
Boredom gives your brain the breathing room it needs to connect the dots you didn't even know were related! Try this: set a timer for 10 minutes today and do nothing. No phone, no music, no input. Just sit and see where your mind goes. It will definitely feel uncomfortable at first, but that's the point. Once you pass that moment of discomfort, see what growth might happen.
Seth: We both recently read The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter, and in it, he talks about discomfort as a signal for growth.
“When a person can’t find a deep sense of meaning, they distract themselves with pleasure.” - Viktor Frankl
Look at how you spend your time and be brutally honest with what you find. Is your screen time at or above the US average of 7 hours per day? Do you spend most of your day on "busy work" that doesn't actually accomplish anything? Do you distract yourself with food, even though you understand the end result of binge eating?
The point is, we’re biologically hardwired to conserve energy, avoid pain, and resist the unknown. From an evolutionary perspective, change was risky. Discomfort meant danger. But today, that same wiring is what keeps us stuck. The discomfort you're feeling isn't a red flag to back off, but rather a green light to lean in. Growth lives just beyond comfort.
Carolyn: Let's zoom out. How can boredom be built into your lifestyle, not just tolerated or experimented with? We can actually use boredom as a strategic tool for self-regulation, alignment, and long term clarity. One of the most powerful things I have learned is that boredom can actually be used as a filter. When you're no longer constantly distracted, you can finally get clear on what excites you and what is just noise.
This is cool because you start to realize what lights you up versus what you're doing out of obligation or habit. That clarity doesn't come from cramming more into your day, it comes from creating "white space". Instead of trying to "add" clarity, try subtracting everything that's pulling at your attention. What's left is far more aligned with your values, creativity, and even your purpose. Use boredom as a compass.
Seth: That idea could almost be a newsletter on its own. Trying to focus on too many things stretches you thin and prevents you from truly concentrating your forces. But when you welcome white space—when you allow boredom instead of avoiding it—you start to see more clearly where your time and energy should go. Carolyn and I didn’t set out with a grand plan, but we found ourselves having long conversations (mostly on outdoor walks without our phones) about what was working in our lives—and how we might share it with others. That’s how this newsletter started. Now we’re 21 editions in, and we’ve chosen to focus our free time and energy completely on this.
Carolyn: This week, create intentional boredom. Schedule 20 minutes a day with no phone, no input, no distractions. Just you and your thoughts. Let your mind wander. Get to the point where it's uncomfortable. Then see what comes up! A new idea? A hard truth you are avoiding? A moment of clarity? Whatever it is, lean in.
Seth: Kill 2 birds with 1 stone and use that 20 minutes to go outside for a walk. Again, no music or podcasts, just you and nature. You'll get some exercise and be alone with your thoughts. You might reach for your phone the first few days, but by the end of the week you'll simply enjoy the time alone.
Both: Remember: Stillness is the Key, and if you're enjoying these newsletters, feel free to forward them to friends and family!
See you next week,
Seth & Carolyn
The StoWicks
Quote of the Week:
"All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone."
Blaise Pascal
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