The StoWicks Conversations
by
Carolyn and Seth Wicks
Today's Key Points:
- Daily Reps Build Your Life
- Discomfort Leads To Growth
- Standards Beat Motivation
Seth: It's been quite the year for us at The StoWicks. What started out as an idea to share wisdom has become a weekly newsletter that hundreds of people read. Kind of crazy to think about honestly! Neither one of us ever aspired to be a writer, but this was the best way we could share what we've learned and what works or doesn't work for us. With that in mind, we each want to share our own lessons learned from the year.
Carolyn: This year taught me a lot. About my body, my mindset, my values, and the way I show up in my marriage. I’ve been going through something that is mentally and physically the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and while I’m proud of myself, I also know I could have been better in certain moments. That tension, pride and humility at the same time, is where most of these lessons came from.
1. The things that make you the most uncomfortable are usually the ones worth leaning into.
For me, that has been pregnancy. It’s stretched me (literally) in ways I didn’t expect: physically, mentally, emotionally. There’s very little control, and that alone has been a lesson. Avoiding hard things might feel safer, but choosing to face them expands your capacity. Discomfort doesn’t mean you’re failing, it often means you’re growing.
2. Consistency matters most when your routine gets disrupted.
Pregnancy made my normal habits harder to stick to. It was easy to justify skipping things because I had a “valid reason.” But consistency is what changed my life in the first place: weightlifting, prioritizing sleep, eating well. Not big, dramatic moves. Small steps taken over years of effort. Even when they’re imperfect, they add up. Excuses slow that process, no matter how reasonable they sound.
3. Your values explain your emotions.
This year I realized that some internal friction I was feeling with someone wasn’t random, it came from a fundamental misalignment in values. Once I saw that, everything made sense. Self-awareness isn’t just naming how you feel, it’s understanding why. That clarity saves you from unnecessary frustration and helps you move through situations with more peace.
4. You are capable of more than you think, even when circumstances change.
I didn’t know I could continue lifting the way I have while pregnant. I assumed I would feel weaker or limited. Instead, I’ve learned that strength doesn’t disappear just because life looks different. Physically and mentally, I’m just as capable as I was before (I actually increased my squat and bench press while pregnant) and that realization carries into everything else I do.
5. A strong foundation shows itself when life gets harder.
I didn’t learn this this year, I felt it. When we found out I was pregnant, Seth stepped up in ways that made the weight of everything feel lighter. He does things around the house without being asked. He listens when I complain about my clothes not fitting or not feeling like myself. He empathizes, but he also gives me perspective, all while taking on more of the responsibilities we normally split evenly.
We both work full-time. Life didn’t slow down, it changed. And the base of our relationship, built on effort, respect, and showing up for each other in the small things, proved to be the perfect foundation for a big transition. Love isn’t tested when life is easy. It’s revealed when it isn’t.
These were the lessons that showed up for me in real time, not in theory, but in practice.
Seth: I write in my journal daily, so I filtered through my notes and came up with 18 lessons learned (or reinforced) this year. If a few of them challenge you or make you uncomfortable, good. That's the point.
- You don’t chase happiness, you earn it by doing what needs to be done.
- Decide who you are, then act accordingly. Identity follows behavior.
- If willpower is required, the system is broken.
- Where your attention goes reveals what you truly value. Guard it.
- Accept reality quickly. Pain passes faster when you stop arguing with what is.
- There’s nothing dramatic about daily work, until years pass. Consistency always wins.
- Ease weakens. Voluntary hardship strengthens. Do hard things on purpose.
- Fast movement in the wrong direction is still failure. Know where you’re going.
- People default to the person who always shows up and follows through. Be reliable.
- Indulgence feels free, but discipline is what actually frees you.
- Your legacy is built in small, boring moments.
- Meaning comes from contribution, not contemplation. Take action.
- Principles that aren’t tested aren’t principles.
- Physical action clears the mind faster than thought ever will.
- Emotional control is power, especially under pressure.
- Delay multiplies damage. Have the hard conversation now.
- Voluntary struggle prepares you for involuntary suffering.
- A good life is built, not discovered, and only you can build it.
Carolyn: Looking back, this year reinforced something we both believe deeply: a good life isn’t built through big, dramatic moments, it’s built through daily choices. Choosing to do hard things. Choosing consistency when it would be easier to make excuses. Choosing awareness over avoidance. Choosing to show up well for the people you love.
You don’t need to master every lesson we shared. Just notice the one that stuck with you or the one that made you uncomfortable. That’s probably where your next bit of growth lives.
Both: What’s one lesson this year taught you? Hit reply and tell us.
See you next week,
Carolyn & Seth
The StoWicks
Quote of the Week:
"What stands in the way becomes the way."
Marcus Aurelius
