The StoWicks Conversations
by
Carolyn and Seth Wicks
Today's Key Points:
- Optimization is Endless
- Excess Optimization is Unhealthy
- Health Shouldn't Cost You
Carolyn: If you've been reading this newsletter for a while, you know we talk a lot about hitting your protein goals, tracking your macros, prioritizing sleep, and being intentional about what you put in your body. And we mean every word of that. Those habits genuinely matter, and the research backs them up. But at some point, the pursuit of those good habits can shift from empowering to exhausting. Is this ingredient inflammatory? Is this cookware toxic? Is my water filtered enough? Did I hit my protein goal today? Did I get enough sunlight? Suddenly, health, something that's supposed to add life to your years, starts to feel like a full-time job you can never clock out of. We're not here to walk back anything we've told you. We still believe in the fundamentals. But we've been asking ourselves a harder question lately: when does self-improvement stop actually improving your life?
Seth: As Carolyn mentioned, this is something we are actively working on ourselves. We will hit on a few things in this newsletter, but I want to start with how optimization has no finish line. There will always be something new that comes out that everyone will talk about: Better diets, better supplements, better workouts. Obviously, research and development matter, but at some point it goes too far. Right now I feel like everyone is talking about peptides and honestly, I don't feel like injecting myself with stuff that has little to no research done. And ironically, the people who have actually cracked the code on living long aren't doing any of this stuff.
Think about most centenarians. They share almost none of the behaviors the optimization industry sells, such as tracking sleep or protein intake. They definitely don't take 13 supplements (looking in the mirror on this one). Most of them live normal lives centered around social connection, daily movement, and a healthy diet. They understand that happiness can't be centered around perfect optimization, because that day would never and will never arrive. So what do they do instead? Well, they just live.
Carolyn: If you know me, you know I love a margarita. Maybe my Mexican heritage comes out when tequila is around, but they are refreshing and delicious, especially after 40 weeks of no alcohol so I could grow our little baby. I know alcohol isn't great for sleep, weight loss, breastfeeding, or your skin. I know all of that. But the health I've worked so hard for is supposed to buy me freedom, and a margarita with people I love is exactly what that freedom looks like. Because if every time I go out I'm a nervous wreck calculating macros, if every social event becomes a minefield of anxiety, and if every vacation feels like a disruption to the routine, I've missed the whole point. The freedom is the point. The freedom to travel, to be spontaneous, to sit around a table with people you love without mentally cataloguing every ingredient on it. But for a lot of us, health culture is doing the opposite. It's shrinking our lives. We say no to the trip because it'll throw off the routine. We skip the dinner because we can't control the menu. We're so focused on squeezing out another 1% that we're quietly sacrificing the 100%, the relationships, the memories, the moments that actually make a long life worth living. What good is optimizing for a longer life if you're too anxious to actually participate in it?
Seth: Something that comes to mind as we write this newsletter is the Stoic virtue of temperance, or in today's terms, moderation. This can mean many different things, such as self-control, restraint, or avoiding extremes. However, I want to focus on how moderation and temperance are about avoiding excess. When most people talk about excess, it usually means avoiding too much alcohol or food. But excess can also mean too much control, optimization, or fixation on health. This is where moderation comes in on the other side.
A lot of people think about their health a few times a day and live their lives normally. Others think about their health every second of the day and factor it in with every decision made, and they probably live an anxious life. If you're one of these people, remember that the goal isn't perfection. The goal is to live reasonably. It's okay if you miss a day of movement or eat that slice of cake if the other 90% of the time you're doing what needs to be done. So be healthy, enjoy your life, and live in moderation.
Carolyn: So what does balance actually look like in practice? It's simpler than the wellness industry wants you to believe. Move your body with intention. Lift weights. Eat mostly whole foods. Hit your protein. Sleep. Manage your stress. Invest in your relationships. That's it. Not glamorous, but those fundamentals account for the vast majority of your health outcomes. Everything else, like the peptides, the 13 supplements, the hyper-specific biohacking protocols, are just noise until the basics are locked in. The irony is that most people are obsessing over the final 1% while the first 90% is still inconsistent. We've said it before and we'll keep saying it: get a little better every day. Not perfect every day. Perfectionism isn't a health strategy, it's an anxiety strategy. Master the big rocks, stay consistent, and then let yourself live. That's the whole point.
Seth: 1% better every day can actually look like a mimosa tower with your friends for brunch (who's in?!) or running a marathon. Give yourself permission to let the little stuff go and stick with the basics Carolyn mentioned above. If you're doing the 90% that keeps you healthy, eat the pie or take a rest day.
So remember that optimization and self-improvement are valuable tools, until they start costing you the very life you're trying to improve. Take care of yourself, but don't forget to actually live.
Carolyn: This week, find one moment where you put the tracker down and just show up. A dinner, a workout you actually enjoy, a margarita with someone you love.
Seth: We're heading to Banff, Canada this week and you know what? We're not going to be tracking our macros or worrying about if we should have another drink. It's our big vacation this year and it's not a time for optimization, it's a time for presence and family. What are you letting go of this week?
Both: We'd love to know where you land on this. Are you someone who struggles with over-optimization, or do you feel like you haven't found your baseline yet? Hit reply and tell us, we read every response.
See you next week,
Carolyn & Seth
The StoWicks
Quote of the Week:
“Perfection is the enemy of good.”
Voltaire
