The StoWicks Conversations
by
Carolyn and Seth Wicks
Today's Key Points:
- You Don’t Find Your Purpose, You Build It
- Action Creates Clarity
- Systems > Motivation
Seth: I'm sure everyone reading this newsletter has heard at least one of the phrases below:
- "You have to find yourself"
- "Follow your dreams"
- "Your path will be revealed"
Could those statements be any more vague? They do absolutely nothing to help us today. How does one follow their dreams? How is the path revealed? How do you find yourself?
Well, to us, you don't find your purpose. You build it. Purpose is the byproduct of consistent action, systems, and deliberate effort. Meaning comes from doing, not waiting.
Carolyn: I think people tend to assume that your purpose will arrive in one Disney-princess magical moment. It will be sparkles and a killer soundtrack and suddenly you'll be happy forever, but that's not realistic. Purpose isn't delivered, it's developed. It comes from putting in the reps. Doing the work through repeated action. Trying new things, showing up even when you don't feel like it, and slowly gaining competency over time.
And then after all that, after pushing through imposter syndrome, after stacking tiny wins, the clarity shows up. Not in front of you, but because of you. The problem is, most people wait for a spark, but what they really need is momentum. The action first and meaning comes later. You don't necessarily "find" the path...walking makes the path visible.
Seth: Carolyn mentioning imposter syndrome is perfect, because when you're taking action and constantly building your purpose, your identity is also being acted upon.
Most people think of us as active people (some might use the term "healthy freaks", but we're okay with that). How did so many different people come to the same conclusion? Because we are active people. We do put in the reps - 10,000+ steps, strength training, 75 Hard, limiting alcohol, eating healthy. If someone were to ask me about anything health related, I could immediately add value to the conversation. I'm passionate about the subject, and it's because I've taken thousands of actions that have given me direction and purpose. I personally believe being a healthy human is a requirement, not a choice. A Spartan mentality if you will.
If you're trying to build a specific identity, taking the first action is all that is required of you. At some point, you'll be at the thousand reps and you will have "found" yourself along the way.
Carolyn: So how do you actually do this? I think this is the part nobody talks about. Purpose and action need a framework. I'm not talking about a 5-year plan, think simpler. Think of repeatable systems that make action your default mode. So the question is really "How can I best set myself up for success everyday?". For me, that looks like scheduling workouts like meetings, setting non-negotiable after-work walks, and planning our meals on Sunday's so we don't rely on convenient take-out options. These tiny decisions are the structures that hold you in place when your motivation takes a dive (and it will). They keep you moving on the days when you feel like the only thing you want to do is rot on your couch.
So you don't need "passion" (I think you need some interest in it), but you really need a system that makes the right decisions easier than the wrong one. Actions build clarity, but systems make that action sustainable.
Seth: The last thing I want to point out is that you can start before you feel ready. We were certainly not ready to start a newsletter, but we both felt like we wanted to somehow share what has been working for us. We talked about what that would look like, and writing a shared newsletter made the most sense. Again, neither of us had a history of writing, but we've now done 49 editions and have people ask us about it weekly. We've become writers, but still feel like we have so much to improve on.
So don't wait to start. There is no better time than today, so if you have an idea, act on.
Carolyn: If there is one thing I hope you take from this, it's that purpose isn't something you stumble into, it's something you slowly assemble. Rep by rep. You don't need a perfect plan or a bolt of inspiration to begin. You just need one action you are willing to repeat and a systems that makes it easier for you to do the right things. But to Seth's point, give yourself permission to start before you're ready, learn as you go, and let the consistency uncover the path you can't see yet.
Seth: Don't wait until January 1st to start some resolution. What is wrong with today? Don't waste the next 4 weeks "waiting" for the new year. Start whatever it is you want to do today.
Carolyn: Your purpose is already within reach, it just needs movement. Choose a system that makes the right thing easy, and let your actions reveal who you are becoming.
Both: If this resonated with you, share with someone who needs a push to start. Let's build purpose this week, one rep at a time.
See you next week,
Carolyn & Seth
The StoWicks
Quote of the Week:
"First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do."
Epictetus
