The StoWicks Conversations
by
Carolyn and Seth Wicks
Today's Key Points:
- Standards Create Identity
- Systems Beat Willpower
- Seize Your Fate
Carolyn: As the year comes to a close, I want you to take a moment to reflect on this past year. When most people think about the new year, they immediately think about what they want to add: new goals, new routines, new ambitions. But if you’ve been reading The StoWicks Conversations for any amount of time, you already know what we believe: what actually changes your life isn’t what you occasionally do when motivation is high. It’s what you refuse to negotiate on when motivation is gone.
That’s why today we’re talking about non-negotiables, and why they matter. Non-negotiables remove decision fatigue. They create identity. They turn “I hope” into “this is just who I am.” Instead of relying on willpower or waiting for the perfect time, you build a baseline you can return to in any season of life.
And as two kids (yes, we’re in our 30s, and I still can’t believe someone is letting us have a baby) about to welcome a child of our own, this has never felt more important. Now more than ever, we recognize how critical it is to get our systems in order. I can’t be the best mom if I feel like I’m slowly losing my grip on the things that matter most to me: my health, my fitness, and my mental and spiritual practices.
I refuse to lose myself just because I’m becoming a mom. The world doesn’t stop when you have a child, and neither do your goals or ambitions. In fact, I believe having our son alongside those goals is one of the greatest gifts we can give him. Watching his parents work hard, learn, grow, and pursue meaningful challenges, that’s the example I hope to set.
All of this is why we need good habits. Not to become perfect, but to become predictable. Predictable in the ways that compound your health, your relationships, your work, and your peace of mind. As we head into a new year, we’re defining the standards we’re unwilling to let slip, the ones that matter most. And we think everyone should do the same.
Seth: Daily Movement
Something Carolyn brings up is vital for success. The top-level performs don't rely on daily motivation and willpower, they rely on their habits and systems. If you wake up right when your alarm goes off and get started on your day, that's not willpower. That's a programmed system that doesn't rely on a decision. It's just something you do because the decision was made before that moment.
With that in mind, the first non-negotiable I want to discuss is daily movement. I'm sure after 52 weeks I sound like a broken record, but the average person is overweight, under-muscled, and sedentary. The main reason is the threats are long-term, Death something so far off that worrying about it today seems pointless. Present comfort is the current priority, not future pain.
For those willing to put their physical health first in 2026, we have a few guidelines that we believe are the bare minimum if you want to get in better shape and fortify your body against any and all threats.
- 10,000+ steps/day. Some influencers will talk about doing 4,000 or 7,000, but getting 10K steps is doable. Our bodies are designed for a massive amount of steps, and sitting at a desk all day or watching TV from the couch won't help. Get up before work and start your day with a 30 minute walk. This will yield 4,000 steps before anything else can get in your way (I walked an average of 8,600 steps this year, so I will taking my own advice here).
- Strength train at least 2x/week. This is the absolute bare minimum and should be closer to 3-4 times/week. Muscle mass naturally decreases as we age, so fighting against this is vital. Some people prefer going to the gym after work, so for that group go straight to the gym. For the early risers, same thing. Carolyn and I are aiming to strength train 4x/week in 2026 while getting in those 2 miles. Yes, that might be a 1.5 hour workout, but it's necessary.
- The last one is obvious but shockingly doesn't always happen: Get outside every day. We are not designed to be inside all the time, so go outside and get fresh air. Take your walks in nature, lay down in the grass, and let the rain fall on you. We are animals at the end of the day, and we require nature. Design a system that works best for you to be outside (we are going to do our 2 mile walks around our neighborhood after lifting).
These few things done daily will reap enormous benefits to you. The only things I will add are that an accountability buddy will help with this, and make sure to prioritize sleep as well. Take care of your physical health in 2026 and feel free to ask us for help if needed.
Carolyn: Consume Less, Create More
We live in a world where information is endless, yet real skill is rare. Especially with AI, anything you could ever want to know is at the touch of your fingertips. But this creates a problem. If you ever feel stuck, it isn’t because you don’t have access to more information, it’s because most people are overstimulated and under-skilled.
The issue is that consumption feels productive. You can listen to endless podcasts, read countless posts and books, and take course after course, all of which create the illusion of progress. But very little changes if nothing is applied. Action has to follow. Otherwise, you become the “forever student,” always saying, “Now just isn’t the right time,” or “Let me read one more book and then I’ll start.” We’ve all heard that one before.
Action, and therefore creation, builds confidence and competence. It forces you to wrestle with ideas instead of passively absorbing them.
One of my non-negotiables moving into the new year is daily learning, but with intention. Learning that fits the season of life I’m in: becoming a better partner, preparing to be a parent, growing in my work, and strengthening my mind and body. And when learning isn’t the right move, creating is. Writing, teaching, organizing, building, whatever your strengths are, that’s where your focus should go. You already know what you’re good at. The work is choosing to focus there instead of numbing out. When you consume less and create more, you stop waiting for confidence and start earning it.
Seth: Misogi
If you haven't heard of a Misogi before, prepare to be challenged. It started out as a purification ritual in Japan, but has since evolved into a difficult, yearly challenge that has a 50/50 chance of success. If it's 100/0, it's not a Misogi, it's a goal.
Before I dive into different ways you can do a Misogi, I should clarify the point of doing one in the first place. Everyone reading this most likely has a sense of purpose, but many of you may have self-limiting beliefs. In fact, probably everyone does. I'm not talking about truths - I'm 5'10'' and that belief is also the truth. However, I have also always told myself that I'm not an endurance athlete, that I'm physically designed for more power and short bursts of all-out effort. However, this year I'm going to challenge and overcome that belief. My Misogi for 2026 is to run a 5K in under 20 minutes. Right now that would be impossible. I would fail 100% of the time. But I think with enough work, I can potentially accomplish this feat. So, getting back to the point: You should do a Misogi this year that forces you to challenges yourself, and ultimately, change your identity and how you view yourself.
I've given you my Misogi, but you could also complete an Ironman or join the 1,000 pound club as a physical challenge.
Seeing as how we also like to discuss mental and spiritual improvement, you could also do a Misogi in those areas. Maybe you've always been wanting to write a book, and your Misogi is to start and finish a novel. It could be to start a newsletter and write for 52 straight weeks (but not called The StoWicks, get your own thing!). For your soul, maybe you can challenge yourself to volunteer weekly or commit to daily prayer and meditation.
Whatever you choose, it must be something that you aren't sure you'll actually do. If you fail, that okay. You pushed yourself and maybe you try again in 2027. I guarantee you'll be better for trying and failing than not having tried at all. And if you succeed, you will be forever changed. This newsletter has changed me, and I will be changed again when I dominate the Fort Worth Turkey Trot in November.
Carolyn: Food & Diet Non-Negotiables
Your environment decides your outcomes, and I can’t stress enough how true I believe this to be. I know firsthand how a disorganized, loud, and chaotic environment leads to stress, poor productivity, and reactive decision-making. When everything around you is noisy, the last thing you want to rely on is willpower, because it won’t work. That’s why discipline is easier when choices are limited. Don’t rely on restraint, rely on preparation.
One of our non-negotiables is how we eat. We prioritize real food: quality ingredients, high protein, low added sugar, vegetables, fruit, and healthy fats. We don’t keep food in the house that requires self-control to avoid. When you’re home, the right choice should be the easy choice. What you buy determines what you eat, and your grocery cart is one of the most powerful votes you cast for your future health.
This doesn’t stop when you leave the house. When traveling or eating out, preparation matters even more. Planning ahead means you’re not making decisions when you’re tired, hungry, or rushed. And while food outside your kitchen isn’t always perfectly “healthy,” most of us can agree that a salad with veggies, double chicken and a water is probably a better choice than fried chicken strips, gravy, fries, and a soda.
That isn’t rigidity, it’s self-respect. People sometimes poke fun at our food choices with comments like, “I know you won’t eat this, but…” or “Why can’t y’all just relax and enjoy life?” But what they miss is this: if you’re only given one life and one body, how you treat it matters. Your energy, your sleep, your skin, your weight, your mood, none of it exists in isolation from what you consistently put into your body.
That’s why this is a non-negotiable for us. And if making that decision feels hard for you, do it for the people who depend on you. If your kitchen and food choices are aligned, your discipline doesn’t have to be.
Seth: Daily Journaling
Look, I know most people reading this aren't writers, and don't want to spend 30 minutes every day writing. It's unrealistic and simply won't happen. Daily journaling shouldn't feel like a chore, so let's again focus on the bare minimum and what will actually help you.
- Gratitude - write down 3-5 things that you're grateful for, even the bad things. I have terrible road rage, and DFW is only getting worse, so I sometimes write that I'm grateful for traffic and how it helps me practice patience.
- Affirmations - write down 3 things on who you want to be, why you want to be that person, and what actions you will take to be that person. Example: "I want to be the best parent possible for my son, and he deserves a father who leads by example. Today I will show up calm, present, and disciplined, and one day he will be the same."
- Learning - write down things that you learn throughout the day. I keep a running journal that dates back to April 2024 with bits of wisdom from each day. You will remember the lessons better and have them to reflect back on if needed.
I understand this newsletter is longer than most and packed with information, but we truly believe this is the bare minimum for 2026.
We aren’t asking you to do anything we aren’t doing ourselves. Every standard we’ve outlined is proven to improve health, clarity, and quality of life. If you disagree, feel free to debate us. Our goal has always been to help, and sometimes helping means raising the standard.
This is about evolution. About changing your identity through daily actions. You can change, but no one can do it for you. Your health, your habits, and your future are in your hands. Now go out there and take it.
Both: As we close out the year, we just want to say thank you. Knowing that you’ve chosen to spend a few minutes with us each week: reading, reflecting, and growing alongside us has made this journey incredibly meaningful.
This past year reminded us that progress doesn’t come from massive overhauls, but from small standards upheld consistently. We’re excited to keep building, learning, and refining in 2026, and we hope you’ll continue doing that with us.
If this newsletter has added value to your life, we’d be grateful if you shared it with someone you care about. Here’s to a new year, clear standards, and becoming 1% better together.
See you next year,
Carolyn & Seth
The StoWicks
Quote of the Week:
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."
Aristotle
