The StoWicks Conversations
by
Seth and Carolyn Wicks
Today's Key Points:
- Discomfort Is Proof of Growth
- Small Reps Create Resilience
- Discomfort Is A Compass
Carolyn: You know that feeling right before a big presentation in front of your boss' boss, your palms get sweaty, your heart races, and suddenly you’re wondering if you should make one last trip to the restroom? Or when you sign up for a new tennis league and immediately think, Great, I’m going to be the worst one out there. That heavy sense of dread creeps in and suddenly doing literally anything else sounds better. That’s discomfort. It’s standing at the base of a mountain, looking up, and wondering if you’re even capable of making the climb. And the thing is, discomfort isn’t your enemy, it’s your ally.
Seth: The first step is to normalize this feeling. Every single person you know feels it, probably daily. Thousands of people feel discomfort right before they finally break through for a lift or run PR. Others feel discomfort in their nutrition and dieting, finding it difficult to stick with it every day. Other examples include having hard conversations or doing the right thing even when it's unpopular. Discomfort is simply a part of life, and one necessary for growth. You can't love without the discomfort of being vulnerable. You can't become wise without humility, or gain knowledge without confusion and frustration. It's hard to seek out this feeling, but it is, without a doubt, necessary.
Carolyn: To Seth's point, discomfort is proof you’re expanding your capacity. It shows up right at the edge of your current abilities, the exact place where growth happens. Most people mistake that tight chest or racing heart as a signal to retreat. I mean, that feeling can't be good right? What if instead of asking, “How do I make this feeling go away?” you asked, “What skill am I about to gain from this?” That reframe turns nerves into fuel. Suddenly, discomfort isn’t something to escape, it’s something to lean into because you know it’s carving out a stronger, more capable version of you. And we love a strong you!
Seth: Carolyn mentioned something earlier about joining a tennis league, and this example is perfect. I've never played in a formal tennis league, and the only real instruction I've received were 2 kinesiology classes at Texas A&M. So joining the Southlake Tennis Center Men's Doubles League (Level 3.5-4.0) was a full-on acceptance of discomfort, and most likely failure.
I knew for a fact that I would lose more than I would win, and so far that has been the case. However, the improvement in my game is undeniable. My serve has improved, as well as both my forehand and backhand strokes. I've even been given pointers by some of the tennis veterans that have helped my footwork and positioning! The fact of the matter is that I embraced discomfort, and I've gotten better because of it.
Carolyn: Think of discomfort like weight lifting for your mind. The more reps you take, the more resilient you become. Every time you make the uncomfortable choice, speaking up in the meeting, pushing through the last set at the gym, having the hard conversation, you’re not just surviving the moment, you’re building capacity for the next challenge. Over time, those micro-decisions add up into unshakable confidence. And here’s the insight most people miss: discomfort also acts like a compass. If a decision feels a little scary, it usually means you’re walking toward growth. If life feels frictionless for too long, you’re probably circling the same level. Use discomfort as both your training ground and your North Star, it’s how you know you’re on the right path.
Seth: We are called the StoWicks, so I'll leave you with one of my favorite Marcus Aurelius quotes: “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” This idea is so valuable that Ryan Holiday wrote an entire book on it. He talks about obstacles and roadblocks actually being good for us, if our mind is up to the challenge. And the main thing we can do during difficult and uncomfortable times? Practice virtue, practice being a good human being. Sometimes there is discomfort in this, but it's our job to rise above our circumstances and be good.
Carolyn: This week, pay attention to the moments that make you uncomfortable. Instead of avoiding them, pause and remind yourself: this is where growth lives.
Seth: Think about a big opportunity as well. Maybe a friend asked you to join a league you’re nervous about, or there’s a work project you’re scared to take on. Whatever it is, accept it, even if failure seems likely. You'll either learn something or improve just a little, and that's the whole point.
Both: If this message hit home for you, forward it to someone who might need the reminder that discomfort isn’t a barrier, it’s an ally.
See you next week,
Seth & Carolyn
The StoWicks
Quote of the Week:
"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."
Albert Einstein