The StoWicks Conversations
by
Carolyn and Seth Wicks
Today's Key Points:
- Meaning Requires Uncertainty
- Building Confidence
- Your Story Isn't Finished
Carolyn: If you’ve been watching the news (honestly...gross), scrolling X, or even just seeing what people are posting, you can feel it: nothing feels certain right now. The "K" shaped economy, the US-Israel war, "stagflation", gas prices, even day-to-day life...it feels like it’s constantly changing. And if I’m being honest, I don’t love that. I'm a very black and white person (I think that's the engineering side). I thrive in a routine. I like knowing what to expect. I like rewatching the same movie because I already know how it ends and exactly how it’ll make me feel. I like eating the same breakfast every single day (it's delicious!). There’s a sense of peace in that. And I think a lot of us are chasing certainty for that exact reason. We think it’s what will make us feel steady.
But the more I’ve talked with Seth about it, the more I’m starting to question that. Because life has never actually offered us certainty, we just get comfortable in moments where it feels like it does. Things will always change. Plans will shift. The unexpected will happen. So maybe instead of fighting that or getting frustrated by it, we need to see it differently. Maybe uncertainty isn’t the problem, maybe it’s part of what makes life what it is. And if we’re willing to take it one step further, maybe it’s even a privilege. Because the moment everything becomes guaranteed, predictable, and known...you’re not really living anymore.
Seth: I want to expand on Carolyn's last sentence. What if you could have a certain life? If you knew what was to come and everything was guaranteed? Would that be a life worth living? In my mind, it wouldn't be.
We talk a lot about how the journey is just as important as the destination. Writing this newsletter is just as rewarding as publishing the final version and reading the feedback/comments. Closing a sales deal is just as exciting as working through the process and figuring out how to win it in the first place. We value these achievements because the outcomes weren’t guaranteed. We had to fight and work hard to make them happen. It’s similar to the argument about parents who do everything for their kids, who in turn end up helpless and totally unprepared for the world.
It's actually why Misogis are so powerful - only having a 50% chance of success for an incredibly hard goal is amazing. If I knew right now I would be able to run a 5K in under 20 minutes by the end of 2026, the process would lose its meaning. Uncertainty, in other words, is a prerequisite for becoming more.
Carolyn: I want you to pause for a moment and think about the biggest moments in your life: falling in love, starting a new job, becoming a parent. None of these came with any guarantees, and yet you can probably look back and say they were some of the happiest, most meaningful moments of your life. That’s the part we tend to overlook, the fact that they were so uncertain is exactly what made them matter. Certainty removes emotion, depth, and excitement. To Seth’s point, uncertainty is the pathway to becoming more, and it’s what gives us the moments that truly fulfill us.
When we found out we were going to be parents, that was the peak of uncertainty hitting me square in the face. How do I become a good mom? How do I maintain our relationship? How do I keep a baby alive? What if we raise a serial killer? We need to move, but where? So many questions, so much unknown. But sitting here typing this with one hand because our son wouldn’t nap unless I held him, I can’t help but think about how scared I was just a few months ago. And now? I’ve realized how strong and capable I actually am. The uncertainty didn’t break me, it made a better, more resilient me. And in a way I couldn't see before, going through it made me feel like I can handle anything.
Seth: What Carolyn is describing is confidence, and goes back to my example of parents doing everything for their kids. If a child never goes through trials or hardship or suffering, that child will lack the confidence to navigate the world. True confidence is earned through exposure to uncertainty, and coming out on the other side of it.
For my sports people out there, compare your experience playing a team that you knew for a fact that you would beat vs. playing your rival who was just as good as you. Let's say you won against that inferior opponent. Was any confidence built in beating them? Absolutely not. But beating the team that could have beaten you? Playing your best and giving your all against stiff competition? That's where confidence is built.
Taking on uncertain trials, regardless of the outcome, is how you build belief in yourself that you can take on challenges, no matter how hard they seem before you start.
Carolyn: So take this as your sign: uncertainty in your life, in the world, in everything, has always been here, and it always will be. The Stoics believed good, bad, in between, it is up to you on how you choose to see life. And lately, I’ve been trying to see it differently. Not as something unstable, but as something full of possibility.
There’s something kind of exciting about realizing that if things are still uncertain, your story isn’t finished. It means there are still moments ahead of you that you can’t even imagine yet. Sitting here in this season of life (becoming a mom, stepping into a completely new identity) I’m realizing how much of it is unknown. And instead of fearing that, I’m learning to see it as a gift. The lack of guarantees isn’t something to resent, it’s what makes anything possible.
Seth: The last piece of this is having an optimistic outlook on life. It feels like everyone is complaining about AI right now, yet everyone is using it. It’s most certainly (see what I did there?) here to stay. This technology will move forward whether you like it or not. So you have a choice: resist it, or adapt to it.
I’d rather focus on the upside. The medical breakthroughs, the potential to save millions of lives, the possibility of reducing our reliance on fossil fuels and moving toward cleaner, more sustainable energy. Yes, there will be downsides, as there always are. But there’s good and bad in everything.
Adapting to uncertainty means choosing where you place your focus. And if you look for the good, you’ll find it.
Carolyn: If you’re in a season that feels uncertain right now, take it as a sign that your story is still being written. Lean into it. Show up anyway. You might be closer to something great than you think.
Seth: Take 5 minutes today and write down a few things you’re uncertain about. Then, next to each one, write out a positive outcome that could come from it. See the risks, but also see the possibilities.
Both: The only thing certain in this world is another StoWicks newsletter next Sunday!
See you next week,
Carolyn & Seth
The StoWicks
Quote of the Week:
“You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
Marcus Aurelius
