The StoWicks Conversations
by
Seth and Carolyn Wicks
Today's Key Points:
- Find Your Identity
- Consistency Over Intensity
- It's You vs You
Seth: This newsletter is both for the people who want to make changes, and for those who don't. For the people who want to change, skip ahead to Carolyn's section. For those who don't, what is your resistance? Is it your ego, your pride? Is it your belief that the world is against you, so why try? Maybe it's fear of failure or looking like one (as if anyone cares what you do). Or is it the safety of comfort that confines you? Whatever your reason it, it won't hold up when you're 80 looking back at your life. It never does. People regret the risks they didn't take, the changes that were needed but never addressed. Let's stop making excuses and start making changes.
Carolyn: One of the most powerful ideas in Atomic Habits is that real change starts with identity, not outcomes. It’s not about saying, “I want to lose 20 pounds.” It’s shifting your thinking to, “I’m the kind of person who doesn’t miss workouts” or “I’m someone who fuels my body with whole foods.” When you start there, habits stop feeling like chores and start becoming part of who you are. Here is the catch, none of this works if you don’t actually want to change.
We all know people who talk about eating healthier or getting back in the gym but never follow through. Why? Because deep down, they don’t want it badly enough yet. This is where not only self-awareness, but action comes in. You have to get honest with yourself. Are your current habits taking you where you want to go? Do you actually care enough about the future version of yourself to make different choices today? The change you want to see doesn’t just happen because you want it to. It's a long, boring journey, where you're making sure you hit every step, check every box along the way. Like we always say, it's small actions, repeated daily, that create the life you want.
Seth: Carolyn hits on something I think is vital for change: vision. Something that drives me is a vision of my best self. Not just in sales, in health, in my relationship with Carolyn. It's a vision of my best self in everything. Again, this is not a comparison of myself against others. Everyone is different and on their own journey. The way I see it, there might be a multiverse where there are a trillion different versions of "Seth". Each one made a different decision somewhere in life, and therefore had a different path and life. Then I ask myself: Where do I rank among them? I am near the top, or the bottom? I am comparing myself now, but against myself. If you, the reader, dive deep into yourself, you also know that you wield the power to influence your own rank. So what's your vision going to be? The average you, or the #1 you?
Carolyn: The crazy thing is, most people who finally decide to change don’t really know what it takes. They think one workout will fix all their problems. Honestly, that first workout just leaves you sore and probably hungrier than you were before. Real change doesn’t show up after one attempt. It doesn’t even show up after ten. It’s when you’ve stacked your hundredth workout, your hundredth healthy meal, your hundredth “no” to the easy option, that’s when you look up and realize things are different. Your clothes fit better. Your energy feels steadier. Your confidence starts to grow. But the problem is: most people quit before they get there. They expect instant results, and when change doesn’t happen on their timeline, they give up. What it really takes to change is patience, persistence, and the willingness to keep going long after the excitement wears off. The people who transform their lives aren’t the ones who start the fastest, they’re the ones who stay when it’s boring, when it’s slow, when no one else notices.
Seth: The last mental model I will leave you with is this: Memento Mori. Remember that you will die. It's easy to say you'll do things "later" or when you have more time, but you aren't guaranteed any more time. You aren't even guaranteed tomorrow. And going back to Carolyn's point, change isn't some giant leap. It's about tiny actions repeated over and over. Boring, but effective. So if you want to change, don't overthink it. There is no perfect hack or shortcut. You just need to start, and you need to start today.
Carolyn: At the end of the day, if you don’t want to be average, you have to stop doing the things average people do. Seth and I talk all the time about our goals and our dreams, but the most important part of those conversations is the how. How are we actually going to get there? And when I don’t feel like working out, Seth always reminds me, “The average us would probably skip the gym today.” That one line gets me moving every time, because I don’t want to be average. I want to be my best for myself, for Seth, for our future kids. I want to be strong, healthy, and capable. And that doesn’t happen sitting on the couch or eating pizza every weekend. What it takes to change is doing the things most people won’t. That’s the price of living the life you say you want.
Seth: Our most effective tool has been accountability. I'm sure everyone reading this has someone they trust to hold them accountable and help them reach their goals. Call them this week and share your goals with them. It's easy to make excuses to yourself, but it's harder when someone else is watching.
Carolyn: Don’t just think about the big dream, think about the small, ordinary choices you make that are repetitive, tedious, and difficult to do consistently. That’s where change actually happens.
Both: If you want to change your life, start by doing the things most people won’t.
See you next week,
Seth & Carolyn
The StoWicks
Quote of the Week:
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."
Aristotle
